This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
