his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
