I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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