there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
