Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
