Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
