just come out here and I will go home with you...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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