I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Houston, we have a squirter
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize