69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
