He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
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We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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