Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
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I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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