A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
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