Umm I'm too high to move.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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