Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
did i walk over a car last night?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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