you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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