in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
