Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
