Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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