Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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