Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
