We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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