I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
