i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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