69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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