while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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