go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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