I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
