She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize