escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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