i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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