If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
