my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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