Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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