we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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