Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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