please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
