There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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