Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
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he fucked my hip out of place.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
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The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize