dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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