South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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