my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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