He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
