you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
