I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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