Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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