Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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