We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Found the puke drawer
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
