Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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