cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
