and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
These tits shall not be calmed
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
