Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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