After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
