i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
