dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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