she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm passing your future prison.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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