How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
