OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
