Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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