sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Mom said you looked used
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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