I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize