That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
two words: eviction party
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
